Based on a True Story
Don’t miss the performance of the choral group ‘Rock of Ages’, with music director Jerry Amaldev, at 7.00pm on 22 November 2008 (Saturday) at Toc-H Indoor Stadium, Vyttila.
Western Classical, Pop, Country Western, Rock & Roll, Spiritual & hits of Jerry Amaldev.
I don’t remember the name of the movie…it had this studio whose primary clientele were…shavams. The famous SS. Perhaps the phrase shavam studio was never used in the movie, but for Sangham suddenly everything bad was ‘studio’.
This was during our ‘gross is cool’ phase…leper salute, leper handshake, drinking coffee in Maharaja’s canteen with the two-handed leper grip. (Principal installed a ‘LADIES ONLY’ board in front of the canteen’s smaller hall. A few days later somebody changed the board to ‘LADIES LONELY’ and the guys moved back in)
Last month, I had my shavam studio moment. I dreamed I was dying, I dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly, And looking back down at me…saw my corpse on the ironing table. I opened my eyes, realised my eyes were open all through, realised that the shavam was real. Bwah!
Kumz is getting married this Sunday, and I am not able to sleep. Am not able to sleep not because Kumz is getting married, but because I feel high, frisky, perky, full of beans, as if I had had a gallon of jet fuel. Let me explain. Last month my office folks rose up in revolt and overthrew our canteen contractor (a lot of his stuff was actually revolting) – an incident known in our area as the October Revolution – and…ta da…got a coffee machine. Animal Farm meets The Matrix. Unhygienic tormentors replaced by uncaring automatons that…slurp. And the coffee is, as Knopfler would have slurred, ‘heavy heavy fuel’ and I feel high, frisky, perky…you get what I mean…
I thought a shower would help, didn’t. Thought I will lie on my bed and induce a dream that will carry me off to some place nice, like, you know…Vepery YWCA. But at 43, even the girls in your dreams are not interested in you.
I tried Nuovo Cinema Paradiso without sub-titles (hilarious), Autograph with sub-titles (hilarious, do not try this at home), finally settled for Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Full Monty treatment to King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, and God, the Bible, the Athanasian Creed…
Check out Scene 27
A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, “Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.” And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals … Now did the Lord say, “First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
Exhibit 2
MAYNARD: It reads, [reading] “Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. ‘He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of Auuggggggh.’”
ARTHUR: What?
MAYNARD: [reading] “The Castle of Auuggggggh.”
BEDEVERE: What is that?
MAYNARD: He must have died while carving it.
LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!
MAYNARD: [To LAUNCELOT] Well, that’s what it says.
ARTHUR: [To MAYNARD] Look, if he was dying, he wouldn’t bother to carve ‘auuggggh’. He’d just say it!
MAYNARD: [To ARTHUR] Well, that’s what’s carved in the rock!
GALLAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.
The DVD has some great features. “On-screen Screenplay: Read the screenplay as you watch the film”. If you click on the “Special Feature for the Hard of Hearing” button, the menu is read out for you in a really loud voice…
To cut a long story short, I watched three movies, downloaded Holy Grail script, read the wiki, checked out rottentomatoes (94/92), and am still not feeling sleepy. OK, that brings us to the beginning of the story…Kumz. I figured Kumz would still be up, chatting and stuff, with the wedding just a few days away…well, he hasn’t replied to my message, guess he is still chatting and stuff. Now this is something you miss once you get married, chatting and stuff…you know, you don’t want your wife to catch you.
Kumz is marrying Mayura on 23 Novemeber 2008. Here is wishing them a very happy married life.
Kumz & I in happier times. Monster House. Apr08
Sadanandan of REC Mess passed away. He apparantely lost his footing while crossing a kaana between hostels, hit his head against a concrete slab and died on the spot. He is survived by his wife and 2 kids.
I understand a fund has been created to help Sadanandan’s family. In case you would like to send in a contribution, the details…
Late Sadanandan Fund
c/o. Prof. Sathidevi, #205 Electronic Block, NIT Calicut 673601
State Bank of India, NIT Calicut (2207), CREC Campus, Chathamangalam, Calicut 673601
Account Number: 30555201351, Control: 3576531 2207 30555201351 05/11/08
RIP Sadanandan.
Fuzz bristle…lock thatch.
I did not make this up. Check out.
Boo Haa Haa.
After two years in exile we are back in Ammankovil Road. Do drop in…
The bombs were supposed to go off at 7.00 pm; I had a train to catch at 7.05. I reached Ernakulam North by 6 and at the entrance I saw a group of cops talking to a man carrying something that looked like a bazooka-in-a-bag. Wow! the cops have caught a bomber…wowowow, gotta get out before he turns into a suicide-bomber. Outside the station, there were many Odiyas waiting for the Howdah Mail, mounts of unattended luggage and the typical railway station low-life – perhaps the platforms would be safer.
By the time I got back to the station, the bazooka had morphed into a metal detector, the cops were standing around admiring their handwork, and mallus were streaming into the platform, sniggering at the metal detector and anybody who walked through it.
The platform was crowded – the usual mix of IT kids, grand parents, vadakkans-on-honeymoon, commuters and the ubiquitous Odiyans – and the crowd looked strangely unaffected by the seven o’clock shadow. I walked to where S5 would stop, facing the unsecured car park, decided it is not safe, and started walking up and down the platform… it should be more difficult to hit a moving target. After the third lap, I suddenly remembered ‘An Appointment in Samara’ and plonked down on a bench.
A certain merchant in Baghdad sent his servant to the market to buy some provisions. A little while later, the servant returned looking white in the face. In a trembling voice he said, “Just now in the market place I was jostled by a man in the crowd, and when I turned I saw it was Mr. Death. He looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Please lend me your horse, because I want to go to Samara where Mr. Death will not be able to find me.”
The merchant agreed and lent the scared man his horse. The servant mounted the horse and rode away as fast as the animal could gallop. Later that day, the merchant went down to the market place and saw Mr. Death standing in the crowd. He approached him and said, “Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?”
“That was not a threatening gesture,” said Mr. Death. “It was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, because I have an appointment with him tonight in Samara.”
The journey was fun. Our coupe was a PC version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Ms.White went off to sleep after Palghat and the jawan (Grumpy) ordered lights out. I was Happy, the buzz from the afternoon beers had returned with the adrenalin draining, and slept like a baby till Basin Bridge. By the time I stepped out of the coach at Central, the crowd was already marching towards the exit, I also fell in, humming M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E…
Babu Kuriakose 